Routine is discipline and discipline is freedom. While I don’t have control of what happens to me every day, routine gives me control of what I chose to do with each day.
Routine gives me the freedom to say no, to avoid situations that I know will negatively affect me. I spoke at a conference last week and was invited to a “Speaker Dinner” that started at 8pm. An 8pm start? That’s what time I like to hit the sack. My routine gave me the freedom to say “no thanks” to the invite. This is what I wrote:
Hey Brett – I answered “yes,” but right now I’m a definite maybe.
I’m a super early riser (4am), and I’m usually in bed by 8:30 or 9pm. I’d like to go, except that I’m afraid that I’ll fall asleep in my soup and possibly drown, impacting the rest of the dinner enjoyment for everyone else…
-Scott
Sure, I missed a good steak and conversation, but my routine gave me the time and freedom to do a polar bear swim in the ocean in the morning.
Routine is committing time to myself. I have a huge to-do list today. It’s hard as heck to resist opening my inbox right. I want to do that work. I need to do that work. I just came from that speaking gig and have 75+ emails and calls to make (no joke…). On Monday, I’m leading a workshop in San Francisco and I’ve got tons of prep left for that event. I can’t believe that I’m taking the time to do this post right now, but it’s been a week since my last post and that’s unacceptable to me, so I’m forcing myself to sit and write.
Most mornings, I’m up at 4:30am. If I don’t get up early, I won’t. I need my mornings. It’s my time to establish the day for myself, to take control with Morning Pages and mediation. That only gives me an hour to do any real writing given the probability that Benjamin will wake up by 6:30. Today it was 6:12, putting a halt to my writing. Now I’m in the coffee shop. Man, I really, really want to get to my inbox… But I won’t. I will resist!
Daily training and workouts are routine. They are an anchor – my chance to step aside from the day, to step out of myself, to leave the mental intensity of work and life – and let the physical Self take over for its dose of daily. Sonan Chainani has two anchors in his day – tennis at 7:00am and a session with “Trainer Dave” at 2:00pm. Those anchors give him the freedom to focus on his writing. Sometimes I workout because I want to but mostly it’s because I have to. I have to alleviate stress. I have to feel the rush of endorphins. I have to see sweat dripping on the garage mat. I have to feel my legs and lungs burn through intervals on a run. I have to feel the satiation of a huge meal afterwards. I have to be training for some kind of ridiculous race to push myself farther. It’s my routine.
I typically work in sprints throughout the day. I start the timer and choose a single task to complete. There’s freedom in that focus to know that I’m working on an activity that I choose. I’m in control.
There’s routine in choosing when to work and when to put it aside, the freedom to focus on whatever is most important in the next moment. My routine dictates that I shut off my phone before dinner – I give myself permission to focus on family. Bad things happen when I break this routine.
I was weak a couple weeks ago. After a stellar work day, I worked out then picked up Benjamin from school. I felt proud and satisfied with my accomplishments. I felt calm and relaxed. As I prepared dinner, I decided to scan my email. I don’t know why. I found a message that I didn’t want to read – a soon-to-be client feeling last minute jitters. The thing is… I couldn’t take any action on that information so receiving that input only negatively impacted me. Lena asked about work. I shared my good day and I told her that I stupidly just checked my email for no reason. She knew right away. Now a week later, that would-be client that had last-minute thoughts is now on board and happy. It didn’t matter either way that I knew about that email.
I’m reading Steven King’s “On Writing.” Reading is part of my nighttime routine. I just read last night that he often hears – “I’d like to be a writer too, but I just don’t have the time…” I call myself a writer and I’m committed to this time, and because of my evening reading routine, I have the motivation and rationale that I need to write instead of cracking open my email. Had I skipped last night’s reading, I might be pounding out email #32 instead of creating this post. Thank you, routine.