Tag Archives: Everyday stuff

Running for Syria: The Tahoe 200

A few months ago, I tried to explain to my five-year-old son what’s happening right now in Syria.

“What if you couldn’t sleep at night because we didn’t have a home? What if you couldn’t go outside because there were bullets and explosions everywhere? What if something happened to mommy, or you, or me and we were separated and couldn’t find each other?”

This is real. But go to any news outlet and you’ll read or hear almost nothing about the crisis.

CLICK HERE  to learn how you can help us.

On September 8th, I’ll be embarking on a personal adventure – something I choose to do, something I want to do, something I pay to do.

I’ll begin The Tahoe 200 – a 200-mile foot race circumnavigating Lake Tahoe with 80,000′ of elevation change over four days. I’ll enjoy the luxury of aid stations stocked with water, food, medical help and and sleeping quarters. I’ll have a crew to help me with trivial problems like blisters and lack of sleep. Long slow climbs up to 9000′ peaks will reward me with postcard vistas of late summer in the alpines.

Even with this support and these rewards, there will be times when I won’t want to go on or feel like I can’t go on. I have that choice.

But millions of people in Syria right now do not have a choice. They have to keep moving. They have to keep running. They have to keep searching for shelter and safety.

CLICK HERE  to learn how you can help us.

Imagine fleeing your home with only the clothes on your back, fearing for your life as you journey to the border, and arrive in a foreign country. You have no idea where you will live or what you will eat.

That’s the reality for millions of Syrians, half of them under 18, who are fleeing the violent civil war in their country.

The scale of Syria’s humanitarian crisis is astonishing — 11 million people, half of the country’s pre-war population, have been forced from their homes and 250,000 have died since the war began in 2011. They need our help to get through the worst humanitarian crisis of our time.

Every dollar we contribute makes a powerful difference in the lives of these courageous children and families. Now, and for the future. Please join me by making a gift today — Syrians are counting on our support.

Mercy Corps has been on the ground working since August 2012 and has one of the largest humanitarian operations inside Syria. Their staff put their lives in danger every day to deliver lifesaving food and relief to children and families trapped inside Syria, but supplies are quickly dwindling.

In surrounding countries, they are also distributing emergency food and supplies, improving access to clean water, providing activities and counseling to help children feel safe again, and helping refugees and host communities learn how to work together. And they’ll be there until families can safely return home.

  • $11 can provide a family of 6 with a month’s supply of bread
  • $30 can help give 50 families access to clean water
  • $75 helps provide two refugees with an emergency food kit containing bread, spices, oil, meat and vegetables
  • $210 provides an emergency kit for a Syrian family that includes blankets, hygiene supplies, water and cooking tools

Together, we can help families survive this terrible crisis.

CLICK HERE  to learn how you can help us.

Thank you!

If I died today, would I be okay with that? #GoFarther

I think so. Where I am today versus last year and every year over the past ten years ago, is significant.

One year ago… I was now in my first month reliant on SalesQualia for a living – no more stipends from Blend or teaching paychecks from Hult.

Two years ago… I was just starting my transition plan from Blend to SalesQualia, working with a business coach every week to find my path and build my plan to leave the last job I’d ever have.

Three years ago… I was six months into my work with Blend, fighting depression.

Four years ago… I was thinking about how I could leave CoreLogic after spending a year there collecting a generous paycheck for doing not much of anything.

Five years ago… Benjamin was only two months old. We were six weeks out of the NICU. I was finishing my last week at Altos Research after five years of building the company from its earliest days.

Six years ago… I was firmly ensconced with training for Ironman #2 while in the middle of a potential acquisition of Altos that fell through the floor because I told the acquiring CEO the truth about what he could expect from me.

Seven years ago... I was two months away from Ironman #1 and thinking that I had time in my life to do pretty much anything I wanted.

Eight years ago… Lena was traveling to Africa for months on end, living in huts shared with cows and sleeping under mosquito nets.

Nine years ago… We were living in Oakland with Lena commuting to Davis via Amtrak 4-5 days a week.

Ten years ago this week… I started the path I’m on now – exiting my failed consulting company, deciding that 230 pounds was unacceptable and placing Life ahead of selfishness.

Today, Lena is a pilot and a PhD. Benjamin is healthy. My company is growing every day. I’ve knocked out three Ironmans and an Uberman. I wake up every day nearly 50 pounds lighter while physically, mentally and emotionally stronger.

To go from worrying about the next poker night to pondering if I’d be okay with dying today. That’s pretty good.

** This post was inspired by Tim Ferriss’s recent podcast with Cheryl Strayed.

 

Going Keto (for now). Here’s why…

I don’t need to lose weight and I’m not pounding for Snickers bars or cookies every day. This is less about input (diet) and more about focus and attitude:

1 – Checking my own discipline

I’m already persnickety about my diet, yet I know I’ve been a little loose recently. Last Wednesday at the Farmer’s Market, I plowed through a plate of samosas and Naan. In the morning, I’m hovering over Benjamin’s plate for leftover pancakes and in the evening, I’ve been chowing the extra pasta or mac ’n cheese from his dinner. Throughout the day, I rely on fruit and nuts as snacks – apples, bananas, cashews, walnuts and sunflower seeds. I suspect I’m ingesting more calories than I need.

Work’s been busy of late, and often I consume calories as a way to address anxiety. I’m also eating haphazardly throughout the day. This leads to surprise calories and carbs that serve as short-term solutions for immediate appetite or mental apertures.

2 – Evening out my mood and energy levels

The local Whole Foods closed last month. It was two blocks from my office and I relied on it for lunch and snacks every day. There aren’t any good options for fresh salads downtown and I haven’t gotten into a flow of bringing food to last all day at my office. This leaves me collecting calories however I can – protein bars, fruit and nuts. I’m eating okay, but not getting the right nutritional balance.

Then when I get home, I’m usually hungry for dinner, which means I’m moody and impatient which is unfair to Lena and Benjamin, and then I devour whatever quick fixes I can find in the fridge before dinner – usually cheese. This stems my appetite right away, but the dairy has lactose, which is a sugar, so in effect I’m injecting carbohydrates into my system on an empty stomach, exasperating the problem.

3 – Improving my sleep

I’ve been cutting back on caffeine during the day the past few weeks. I wake up with a coffee at home, then grab another downtown – a coffee with a shot of espresso in the early AM. I drink about a third to a half right away, and the rest lasts me into the early afternoon.  At times, I’ll go back for a half-caff refill in the afternoon, and other days I don’t.  For context, I was drinking a full coffee in the afternoon, sometimes as late as 4pm, which had to affect to my sleep.

In early March, I battled insomnia for a stretch. I’d get to sleep okay, but then would wake up around 1am and be unable to get back to sleep for a couple of hours. This happened 4-5 days a week for a couple of weeks. Even with a solid training regimen, I wasn’t sleeping through the night. I was in Laguna Beach a couple weeks ago and knocked out a two-hour, 10-mile trail run with some gnarly hills, and still couldn’t sleep that night. Really frustrating.

My sleep is back to normal, and even better than before, and I want to keep it that way.

4 – Addressing stiffness and soreness   

Since first injuring my hamstring in mid-January, I’ve been unable to recapture the fluidity and flow from early in the year. I had worked up to a 15-mile run with pickups and felt I was on my way to at last toeing the line at the Badger Mountain 100. Since then, I injured the same hamstring twice more – once a week later, and again two weeks after that, so recovering took me into March.  I used the injury as an opportunity to focus on upper body weight-training and Cross-Fit conditioning.

But… I’ve been feeling stiff and sore across various body parts – calves, hamstrings, knees, ankles and shoulders. I using the diet as addition by subtraction to see if there’s anything in my diet that might be affected my recovery time.

5 – Changing my mindset

This is the most important reason.

Along with the injuries and general stiffness, I’ve been lacking intensity in my weekly workout schedule. We’re in the middle of a home remodel, with our the house now completely torn apart for two weeks. Boxes and plastic are everywhere.

I’m out of my evening mobility routine because I don’t have a place to stretch… The contractors are using the garage so I can’t work out there.

Bzzzzt… That’s a lie. I could easily go out to the garage, and instead I’ve been opting to use the house as a excuse for why I can’t put in the time.

Same with work. The past 4-5 weeks have been incredibility busy with travel, day trips to San Francisco and bringing aboard new clients. More excuses. One of my basic rules is to “Put your Self first,” and I haven’t been doing this.

Changing my diet means that I’m doing more to plan out my days and weeks, and it’s a focus on my entire body. In fact, I just paused from this post to book an appointment with my sports chiropractor to evaluate the aches and pain. Next, I requested an appointment with my family doctor to talk about my ongoing left leg tendon issues and some weirdness in my right ear.

See? Mindset changes behavior.

Right now, I’m midday of Day Two, and feeling okay. I knocked out a seven-mile run and have some acceptable snacks to keep me rolling through the day. Next goal is to get to dinner without breaking, then I can make it through the second day.

I’ll keep you posted.

Beneath the sadness is joy

Diana is 88. We met while out for a walk Sunday night after a confluence of random decisions that day.

After a long day driving to Tahoe and back for a ski day, our we had an early dinner, then Benjamin and I headed to the park to take advantage of the longer day. It’s been very wet weather this winter and mosquitos were rapid. After Lena joined us at the park, we fled the blood-sucking insects to walk the neighborhood. She wanted to take pictures of flowers to paint, and there was one tree in particular she wanted to photograph on Jerome Street.

Completing the short walking loop, we came back around towards our house when I spotted Diana across the street. I told Benjamin – “Let’s cross here…” I’m not sure exactly why. I just felt like it would be nice to say hello to her. I’ve seen here out from time and time, and I’ve seen how old people love to be around kids – just seeing them can bring them joy. Little did I know how important this would be for her that night.

As we approached, I said hello and she replied with a soft “Hi there…,” her voice crackling. I asked her if everything was okay.

She stopped, looked at me and said, “Well… no… I just got some bad news from Minnesota.”

“I’m sorry to hear about that. Would you like to talk about it?”

“That’s okay. I don’t want to bother you with it.”

“It’s no bother. We’re just out for a walk. My name is Scott, by the way.”

“Nice to you meet you, Scott. I’m Diana.”

Diana was sad because her last niece had just passed away, and had just received the news. Then she said that this was really hard on her because her husband just died three weeks ago and she was “just getting over that.”

As we talked, she shared more about her story – they were a military family, that her daughter had recently had a stroke and that Sunday was her birthday. As we wound down our conversation with Diana, Lena and I each gave Diana a hug. We showed her where we lived. Along the way, she stopped to tell us – “I can’t believe that you would stop and ask this little old woman what the trouble was. I just can’t express to you how much appreciate that.”

On Monday, Benjamin and I bought flowers for her. Benjamin drew a picture of a one big heart with a bunch of little hearts inside. (He even paused the iPad to take on this task.) I walked over to Diana’s house, flowers and picture in hand, and knocked on the door. No answer. I rang the doorbell. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. I was worried. I thought something might have happened to her, but with nothing to do, I left the flowers and picture on her doorstep.

Tuesday evening, I walked over again. The flowers were gone, relieving my immediate worry. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. I rang the doorbell. No answer. I could hear the TV on inside, and knocked one more time. Diana opened the door and was startled to see me.

“Were you knocking?”

“I did, and I was just about leave. Sorry to startle you so much.”

She had been in her backyard cleaning up some flowers and just happened to be coming out front for something.

It took her a moment to place who I was. “I’m Scott. We met the other night when you were out for a walk. I thought I’d come by to check on you to make sure everything was okay.”

“Oh yes. Thank you. I’m doing much better.”

We chatted a while and agreed that we’d all go to lunch or dinner sometime soon. “I’m heading out of town for a couple of days and my wife’s mother is coming to visit. Maybe I’ll have them come by to visit over the next day or two.”

“Thank you for stopping to talk to me the other night. I can’t tell you how much appreciate what you kids did for me.”

Today, Lena told me that Diana stopped by our house – “I talked to a very nice young man yesterday, and he said that I should come over and check on you guys while he was away.” Again she said, this time to Lena, “I can’t tell you how much appreciate what you kids did for me.”

Beneath her sadness, lay joy and happiness. It just needed to be revealed for the world to see and for her to feel it.

I remember visiting my great-grandmother when I was eight or nine years old. Bedridden, she would say – “I wish the Good Lord would just take me. I don’t why I’m still here.” Even at eight or nine, I understood. She had outlived several of her kids, and her husband had died decades ago. Lena’s grandmother lived alone in Ukraine, and even with her son and his family living nearby, there had to be long stretches of loneliness and sadness before she passed away – no one to help her share and remove that sadness to expose the joy that lay beneath. I saw her joy during our visit there ten years ago. Lena and I spent the day and the night listening to stories about her children and about her husband. She sang songs from her childhood for us. She told us old village jokes. We just needed be there to help her find her joy.

Maybe there are no accidents. Maybe the universe conspired to have us meet Diana.  Or maybe there’s just a lot sadness around us every day – we just need to stop to look and ask.

How much sadness are we carrying around within ourselves – caustic feelings of self-doubt, that we’re not worthy or that we’re not good enough? How often do we repress our Self from looking for help, from asking for a bent ear to listen to our struggles, strains and pains? How often do we suppress our own experience of happiness and joy?

How much are we willing to share of ourselves, to help other cope with whatever sadness they are feeling in this moment, in this day, in their life, to allow ourselves to feel this joy? We know it’s there. We suppress it. We ignore it. We let it sit there like a disease on our soul.

What if we could help each share our sadness, to shake it into the air and let it disperse in the wind so that all that’s left is joy and happiness?

Underneath sadness is effusive joy that we just need to uncover, to let the joy laying dormant, repressed by a blanket of sadness, out into the world.  I saw this in Diana’s expression of gratitude and joy that someone would listen to her. I’ve felt it myself in the joy I received by helping her, by caring for a complete stranger that’s now become a friend.

It’s okay to be sad. Now let it out, and help others do the same, because underneath is the joy we all deserve to experience.

* Diana is not her real name. I’ve changed it her to protect her privacy.

Begin Again #GoFarther

Before my first Ironman, a friend told me:

Whatever happens, run your perfect race. (Thanks, Cary!)

Maybe it’s raining or it’s hot or cold or windy. Maybe you cramp up. Maybe your nutrition isn’t settling well in your stomach. Maybe your back aches or your legs are tired. Maybe you’re bonking. Maybe you just don’t want to go another mile.

You can’t control what happens out there, and whatever the conditions, whatever happens, however you might feel, you can always begin again.

In the week after Uberman, I ate peanut M&Ms every day because, well, why not? My foot was swollen. My shoulders ached. I still had cuts on my feet. The thought of training again was dreadful.

Then I decided to begin again. I did what I could – pushups from my knees because my arms couldn’t support my body weight, a few kettle bell swings and sit-ups. Soon my breath got heavy and my forehead beaded with sweat. I remembered the process. I remembered how this made me feel. I remembered why I chose to begin again.

Do the first ten minutes – meditation, writing, exercise or that project at work. Let your mind rest. Let your fingers flow. Let your feet walk. Let your body move. Let your voice speak. Draft the email. Make the first phone call. Write the first word. Start again at 2:37 in the afternoon, or 9:42 at night, or 3:14 in the morning when you can’t get back to sleep. Begin again right now.

Leave the room. Take a cold shower. Walk in the rain. Write a letter to tell her you’re sorry even if it’s not your fault. Ask how you can begin again together, because you already have.

Even if it is your fault – you did something stupid, you said something hurtful – you can’t unmake your mistake, but you can begin again with earnestness, humility and patience. Be grateful for the opportunity to start and learn the lesson for the next time you want to stop.

There will be no parades or roaring crowds, no applause or congratulations. No one is keeping score. The people that do won’t want you to win anyway.

Just begin again and be glad that you have, because once you start, you’re not at the beginning anymore.

I haven’t written since Friday. I got a late start Monday morning. Tuesdays can be tough because of a 7am standing call with clients. It’s now Wednesday morning and I find myself struggling to find my groove, so I’ll hit publish now so that I can begin again.

Another day of rain: Ground Control to Major Tom

Three and a half seconds from walking out the door – “I’m not wearing these socks. They’re too small!” Dude, WTF.

Rain boots and puddlesIt’s another day of rain. I yanked my hamstring on Wednesday and now I can’t run. My calves are sore. My shoulders are stiff. The power went out. The dishes aren’t done. We’re out of clean towels. I need a haircut. The music in the coffee shop is too loud.

The email to a new client went unanswered, even though I know he opened it. I track these things. I have seven unfinished projects at work and I can’t get that video I’m recording to come out just right.

But… I have my new rubber boots and a raincoat. I needed the rest anyway. I’ll exercise this afternoon in my garage. The dishes and towels will eventually get done. They always do.

I just heard The Beatles, The Doors and David Bowie (“Ground Control to Major Tom..”). “Piano Man” is playing right now. The music doesn’t seem so loud now.

I’ll finish those projects today, and what doesn’t get done didn’t need finishing right now anyway. The client will get back to me. There are more coming anyway.

Right now, a 16-year-old girl is waiting on her lab test results. An alcoholic is cracking open his third Budweiser, while his wife makes eggs and packs the kids’ lunch, hoping she’s not late for work this morning. Man, she’s tired after working the late shift at her night job, but it’s the only way to make the rent.

The homeless guy downtown is wet and soaked, cold and hungry. He wishes he had rent to make.

Everyone moment can’t be wonderful, and they aren’t. I’m supposed to be present, and that’s hard. Really, really hard. Maybe that’s why the present is so important. In the moments that suck, we need to accept that the suckiness could be much worse.

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when
But we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then.”

All in one sip of coffee this morning

A storm blew out the power in our neighborhood last night and blew up my evening routine that includes grinding coffee beans and prepping my Bialetti coffee pot for the next day. The power came on sometime during the night, but the damage was done and I was regulated to a Starbucks Via packet this morning.

coffee from top and above view on wood background with empty space in vintage

The water boiled, I poured in the packet and took a sip. That sip brought me back to 2014 in Dallas, TX.

It was then I was working at Blend Labs, spending week after week in Dallas (Lewisville actually…) configuring software and running the implementation for our first lending client. Over one stretch, I traveled to Lewisville eight out of nine weeks – on the Monday 5:30am American flight from SMF to DFW and back home again on a Wednesday or Thursday night flight, and occasionally on Friday.

I squeezed in 30-minute workouts in the shoebox hotel gym with its three treadmills and rack of dumbbells, doing rehab exercises from knee surgery, followed by late nights logging bugs and testing configuration changes as the engineers back in San Francisco pushed code every hour. I couldn’t even go for a run because of my knee.

At some point close to midnight, I’d call it a day and wake up again at 5 or 6am to start the next day – chewing through Silly Putty hard-boiled eggs and cardboard bacon, and scrounging for an apple, a banana or anything resembling fresh fruit.

And of course, the hotel coffee. Oh yes… That’s where the Starbucks Via came in. I’d buy a 12-pack of those and travel with them, at least 3-4 in my bag at all times. Every morning, I’d add a packet to a cup of the hotel “coffee” so it might remotely resemble real coffee. Then out of the lobby, trying to remember what color my rental car was this trip and heading back to the client site for ten hours in a brown cubicle and fluorescent lights.

Meanwhile during my Lewisville time warp, Lena was back home, waking up every morning to take Benjamin to day care, work on her dissertation, pick him up, make dinner and get him to bed so that she could get in a few hours before he woke up for his night feeding, then to start it all over again the next morning.

Even during weeks I wasn’t on the road, I commuted to San Francisco three days a week, catching the 4:45am Amtrak and arriving home on the 7:07pm. On Friday nights, we’d meet out for dinner, pretending to catch up on time lost that week.

I remember the first time my son was sick, really sick. I saw a series of texts and missed calls from Lena just as I was walking into a BW3 Wild Wings to meet my team for dinner. A croupy cough and breathing troubles led to a trip to the ER. After a call to American, I was stuck in Dallas – no more flights home that night. So there I was, in Lewisville, Texas, eating a bad salad and bland chicken wings, feeling helpless.

By Christmas 2014, I decided that was enough – the travel, the late nights staring at my computer screen, missing time at home. I needed to make a change. By May 2015, I began working with Byron Davis as a business coach. He helped me structure my thinking around the business and life I wanted to have.

By August, I joined a mastermind group called BlackBelt and I put in my notice to Blend that it was time for me to spend more time at home.

Lena finished her PhD at the end of September and my first day as a full-time business operator was October 1, 2015. I always joked with her that I would retire as soon as she finished, and I did. I retired from working for other people. I retired from absence.

Now, I’m home most mornings to make breakfast and take my son to school. I do the dishes at night and go to bed by 9pm. I’m a regular at the local coffee shop. I make time to train during the day and I’ve knocked out a 50-mile ultra marathon, a swim across Lake Tahoe and Uberman in the past 15 months. I write every morning. I have awesome clients.

I have problems and challenges just like everyone, but they’re my problems in my company. Mornings are almost always a battle – getting Benjamin to eat, dress, and agree to part ways for the day at school drop-off. But, I’m here. Every day. I’m present.

This is my path of happiness. This is my life of freedom.

All in one sip of coffee this morning.

I’m sure glad for that storm last night.

Take Action: Do something, anything. Please, just start. #gofarther

I laid in bed this morning, vacillating between conscious states for nearly 40 minutes before I pulled myself out from under the warm blankets. I was nearly ten minutes into my Morning Pages when I realized I turned on the wrong burner to make coffee. I told myself I was tired and that I deserved more sleep.

Then I reminded myself why I get up this early – to do my thing, to get going, to start. I made a commitment to myself to write every morning. This day mustn’t be different.  I had no idea what I’d write about, I just knew I needed to start.

For a Commitment to be real, you need both Decision and Action. A Decision without Action is just a wish. Lots of people have wishes. Action without Decision, and pretty quickly you’re left without a reason. You can only push yourself so long before you lose motivation. Decision is the “what” and the “why.” Action is the “how” and “now.”

Commitment is why I registered for my first 100-mile ultra. I’ve been training every week since Uberman, putting in miles and workouts but without a clear reason or race to keep going. No Commitment made it easier to eat pizza instead of salad on Friday nights. No Commitment made it easy to go a little lighter or skip stretching at night.

But the thing is, taking Action all the while – training even without a Commitment – got me to a point of Decision. Action precipitated the Decision. That’s why I say – do something, anything. Just start. Action got me to ask myself why I was doing this. And once committed, my actions improved even more – 15-milers instead of 9-milers and track repeats instead of easy five-milers.

I still have to play mind games to get going and to keep going.  It’s on the toughest days and times that Action is the most important – days when you feel what Steven Pressfield calls “The Resistance.”  The toughest days show you how your body and mind respond. Action is simply putting your mind and body in motion – it’s putting yourself to work for your Self. Even if you have to back off what you planned, it’s that you took Action that matters. Just start.

Write the first sentence. Do ten pushups. Walk the first mile. Pick up the phone. Make the first call.

Do something, anything, instead of nothing and later regretting that you never took a single step. Just get moving and life will show from there. Your mind will see the opportunity you’re presenting to yourself and construct a story for that day, that project or that workout. Even if you don’t have it that day, at least you started and kept to your commitment.

Yesterday, I didn’t have it. After four rounds of the “easy” workout I planned, I was lying on my back, breathless on the floor, staring at the garage ceiling wondering what was wrong with me. I wasn’t even sweating and I was completely spent. I’ve done ten rounds of this workout in the past. I laid there for a while, got up, did one more round and called it a day – half of what I planned. It was better than nothing and that one last round gave me some measure of gratification that I pushed past where I thought I was done.

The plan isn’t really that important anyway. A friend recently shared a Churchill quote with me – “Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential.” Steve Blank famously said “No plan survives first contact with the customer.

I have lots of plans, lots of ideas. Most of them are probably lousy anyway which is why I throw them away. The plan is just a decision. From there, it’s the Action that matters.

Do something, anything. Please, just start.

Go Farther.

Put Your Self First #gofarther

I failed this morning. I knew last night what I was going to write about. I devoted part of my Morning Pages to it just so I’d be primed and ready to go. Yet, before I cracked open my laptop, I put others first instead of my Self.

I peeked at my email only to find out that a new client scheduled to start today backed out and another prospect decided to work with a pro-bono consultant instead of paying me.

The thing is, from a business standpoint, I don’t even care about the losing these guys. My business is strong and clients like this can end up being difficult anyway. Trust me, I want to help them and know that I can, and I know they’re in for a tough road ahead without me. But, why the hell did I do that to my Self?

The morning is MY time – for Morning Pages, for meditation, for writing – and I put other people, people literally on the other side of the world, first instead my Self.

Dammit, Scott. Put your Self first.

Protect your Self because no one else will. They’ll take, punch, kick, push and slam your Self. They don’t even know they’re doing it (usually). They’re just out for themselves, unaware of their own Self.

Just because someone asks and just because you can, it doesn’t mean that you should.

“But they’re really expecting me to do this…”

God I hate that. Unless it’s a “HELL YEAH!,” it has to be a “no.” Friends included. Especially friends. If they’re really your friends, they’ll understand. Don’t worry. They’ll figure it out without you…

Be the CEO of your Self – make unpopular decisions. Unfollow Negative Nancy. Heck, skip Facebook altogether for a day. No one will miss you. Seriously. I know I won’t. Go into airplane mode and be present. The world will still be here when you come back.  I’d rather you read the last chapter of that novel than read one of my posts.

We’ve all had friends struggling with anxiety or stress or sadness. How many times is that anxiety, stress and sadness caused by someone else – someone they’ve let bully their Self? We tell our friend to say no. We say – “tell them to fuck off!” We advise them – “you should totally go to that yoga class!”

Then how many times do we ignore this advice for our own Self?

Saunter. Doodle. Sing.

Buy some persimmons, or blueberries, or beets, or bacon, or a burrito.

Talk a walk. Exercise. Breathe.

Make time. Sleep.

If you don’t put your Self first, you can’t be your best Self, and guess what? The world needs your best Self.

At breakfast this morning, my son, eating eggs with ketchup, wearing his blue Elsa dress, watching our science project concoction of baking soda and vinegar bubble in a bowl, asked questions that four-year-olds ask – “Why does Mowgli wear a grass skirt in Jungle Book?” and “Why do the good guys want to beat the bad guys in Star Wars?”

I gave him satisfactory answers, but those emails were festering – “Do those guys really think they can get the same help for free? What is wrong with them? What is wrong with me?” He didn’t get my best Self.

I’m nervous about hitting ‘publish’ right now. I’m worried about what others will think… how they will react… what they will say…

But this is my blog. This is my writing. This is my time. This is my Self.

And I choose to put my Self first.

Go Farther Strategy #3: Work in Sprints #gofarther

Accomplishing bigger outcomes requires the completion of small tasks. When you “Schedule Everything” and “Make Time,” you can complete at least one 30-60 minute “sprint” every day or week without interruption on whatever outcome you want to achieve.

Professional female athlete sprinting from blocks on numbered start line on outdoor athletics track on olympic stadium full of spectators under a dramatic evening sky. Sprinter is wearing generic athletics kit.

”Sprinting” is an idea taken from a style of work productivity called Scrum – popular in the software world – in which a team decides on the set of outcomes for a given work period, usually 2-4 weeks. Within each work period, individuals and smaller teams set aside “sprints” that break down these outcomes into smaller tasks.

Say you want to do your first 50-mile ultra marathon this year… A good “sprint” would be spending an hour researching race calendars or training programs.

Say you want to start blogging… Spend a “sprint” setting up an account on GoDaddy or BlueHost to buy a URL and set up WordPress.

Say you want to write a book… Block off an hour a day to write every day, even if it’s garbage that you throw away. I’ve been doing these most recent posts during my morning “writing sprints.”  A “sprint” is just a block of time that is dedicated to focused work and completing a task, or a series of related tasks. The key here to be focused and dedicated. No distractions.

Here are three examples of how I apply “sprinting” – to writing, to work and to workouts…

Writing Sprints

My most recent “writing sprints” started after I cracked open the initial draft of a book manuscript over Thanksgiving weekend. I’d been sitting on the draft from the publisher for a couple of months, and with Uberman and other work projects, it just sat and sat and sat. Most of all, the delays were impacting my 2017 sales and marketing plans centered around the book launch. During my Uberman training and for the month after, I let myself sleep later in the morning to recoup from training and to just let myself be a little lazy. I finally decided that I had no more excuses and set aside about an hour of morning time after Morning Pages and meditating, and before my son wakes up.

Looking back on my revision back-ups, I had 23 days of writing on the manuscript (I backed up the file each day, multiple times in each writing session). Over the five weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, I added 20,000 words to manuscript and sent back to the publisher on December 30th for their next editing phase. This happened because of my daily “writing sprints” I set up for myself each morning. This works in tandem with “Make Time.” Because I’m an early riser, I made the time each morning to work on the manuscript.

The process took me about two-and-a-half days per chapter to review, edit and add new material. Through these daily morning “writing sprints,” I was able to knock out the revisions – about 1000 words a day – and return the draft to my publisher by the end of the year. 23 writing days, 11 chapters and 20,000 words added, not to mention revisions, deletions and replacement content. Pretty solid work for 23 days of “writing sprints.”

Now… there were definitely days when I’d just be settling in with Spotify cranked up and a fresh cup of coffee, typing my first sentences, only to hear “DAAAAAA-DEEEEE” – my son waking up earlier than expected and blowing up my “writing sprint” that day. On these days, I’d take him to school and hunker down out at my favorite coffee shop (Cloud Forest Cafe) and knock out 30-90 minutes of writing for whatever chapter needed to be started or finished. “Schedule Everything” is handy here because I block out my mornings for creative work and project work, giving me the time to knock out my writing sprint. In fact, I’m finishing up this post right now from the cafe in the time between dropping off Benjamin at school and a weekly coaching call at 9:30am…

Even then, it’s not perfect. On some mornings I have set obligations – weekly coaching calls on Tuesday and Friday mornings, and occasional morning calls with teams in Europe because it’s afternoon there. Having the time blocked out for the writing sprints enables me to withstand the pressure of a daily fluctuation when the morning doesn’t go according to plan.

Daily Work Sprints

At work, I use a Scrum Board to track tasks in four categories: Backlog, Planned, Doing & Done. (More about Scrum here.) This is a methodology that I’m rolling out to my clients this year via our semi-monthly “Boardroom” meetings, applying Scrum to client their sales projects. Starting this month, we’re running a Monthly Planning Video Conference to plan “work sprints,” and a Monthly Project Update Call mid-month to identify obstacles and celebrate progress.

Yesterday, I ran through four “sprint sessions” myself, ranging from 25-50 minutes each. This is what I got done in those four sprint sessions:

  • Sprint #1 (50 mins): Planned out the content, agenda and announcement details for our first “Boardroom” meeting on January 16th, and sent out the meeting invite to clients around our 2017 kickoff on January 16th.
  • Sprint #2: (25 mins): Website work, including adding a “Search Box” to my website. During the 25 minutes, I spoke with the product manager at Algolia (Thank you Jasmine!) and emailed with my web team in Australia (Automation Agency) that’s doing the implementation.
  • Sprint #3: (25 mins): Typed out my hand-scribbled notes from Sprint #1 into Evernote so that I have the content digitally available to repurpose for building a presentation next week for the January 16th Boardroom Kick-Off video conference. (Building the PowerPoint slides will be a “daily sprint session” next week.)
  • Sprint #4 (25 minutes): Held a “sprint planning” meeting with myself by rewriting project tasks and organizing my Scrum board so I know where I am and what’s ahead over the next week.
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The SalesQualia Scrum Board

Working in sprints helps my focus too. If I’m in the middle of sprint and I receive an call, email or text, because I’m in a “sprint,” I give myself permission to wait to respond. In fact, I require myself to wait. I think of it this way – if it was the other way around and I was on a call with a client, I wouldn’t stop the call just to begin working on a project. I never stop a workout to start working on something else. “Sprint sessions” must be dedicated, focused time.

After each “sprint,” I took a 5-20 minute break – lunch, walks around the block, a walk to Whole Food to buy bananas because we were out of them at home. I eat two bananas every morning with my coffee and I did not want to be without. (See: “Find Your Routine.”) ????

Even if you’re a one-person team, you can use Scrum and “work sprints” to make huge progress on your self-directed projects.

The work product of Sprint #1 described above

The work product of Sprint #1 described above

Workouts as Sprints

“Sprints” work really well for workouts too. Yesterday, I wrote about how to “Make Time,” with a couple of examples of when I slotted in short workouts with the time that I had. These are basically “workout sprints.” If I know I have a workout that I want or need to do -– say I need to do a strength and conditioning workout – then working with whatever time I have, even if that’s 30 minutes, can lead to huge gains.

When I was commuting to San Francisco three times a week, I would take the early train and arrive to the office around 7am. I was always the first one there and if I was feeling particularly anxious because I didn’t sleep enough or hadn’t worked out in a couple of days because of my schedule, I’d go downstairs to the basement and do a 15 or 30-minute workout with only body weight exercises – something like four rounds of 25 pushups, 25 sit-ups, 25 lunges and 25 air squats. It definitely got my body and mind settled, and got me the workout I needed for whatever training I was doing. I didn’t always have workout clothes, so there were times that I would strip down and do the workout in my boxers. Fortunately we had a shower at work with a few towels laying around so I could rinse off after… ProTip: Keep a bag of baby wipes in your office for when you’re in a pinch…

Between the commute and travel, I managed to knock out the Donner Half-iron triathlon in July 2015 and my first ultra-marathon at the North Face Endurance Challenge in December 2015 (sadly, my race report for the one is still in my drafts…).

I apply the same idea of “Make Time” and “Sprints” applied to evening runs. When I’m short on workouts or miles, or just need to get some exercise, I’ll do a three-mile run around my neighborhood – two laps at a slow to moderate pace. It’s not the best workout, but the three mile jog you take is better than the 10-miler that doesn’t happen…. My wife is particularly adept at this too. I don’t know how she does it. It’ll be 9pm and we’ve just gotten Benjamin to bed. I’m ready to hit the sack and she’s changing into her workout clothes to head to the garage to do a workout. I think of these emergent workouts as “sprints” – completing a task necessary in the timebox available.


Now what?

  1. Figure out what big outcome or project your want to knock out this month.
  2. Identify the key tasks to be done for that project.
  3. Set aside “sprints” in your calendar. Think “Schedule Everything” and “Make Time.”